Detoxicity: By Men, About Men, For Everyone

DetoxPod 157 : Elliot Aronow (Wearer of Many Figurative & Literal Hats)

In this conversation, multi-hyphenate Elliot Aronow discusses his work in helping men advance spiritually, creatively, and sartorially. He highlights the problem of stereotyping men's work and the importance of breaking free from societal expectations. Elliot shares his personal journey, from his early interest in fashion to his career in media and music. He emphasizes the significance of taking initiative and making things happen, as well as the role of personal style in self-expression. Elliot also discusses the challenges he faced in his 30s and the importance of community and creative pursuits in personal growth. The conversation explores various themes related to masculinity and community-building. It touches on the subcultures of people with Staten Island roots, the need to widen the spectrum of masculine expression, and the misconceptions about men's work. The discussion also highlights the lack of empathy for men and the failure to speak to men on the progressive side. It explores the importance of creating an alternative to right-wing masculinity and motivating men without shame. The conversation emphasizes the value of male community, rediscovering unstructured time, and the need for intergenerational male relationships. It concludes with a discussion on the importance of taking the lead in building male community and the need for a constructive clubhouse.
Takeaways
Stereotyping men's work is a significant problem that limits personal growth and self-discovery.
Taking initiative and making things happen is crucial for personal and professional success.
Personal style and fashion can be powerful tools for self-expression and building confidence.
Navigating the dark night of the ego and facing personal challenges can lead to profound personal growth.
Talk therapy alone may not be sufficient for personal transformation; creative pursuits and action are essential for manifesting change.
Building a supportive community and having strong leadership are key factors in personal development. There are different subcultures of people with Staten Island roots, such as the Jiu-Jitsu community and colonic hydrotherapists.
Men's work needs to widen its spectrum of expression to be more accessible and appealing to a broader audience.
Misconceptions about men's work include the association with hating women or wilderness retreats, which can deter people from engaging in self-development.
There is a lack of empathy for men, especially post-MeToo, which can lead to men feeling misunderstood and isolated.
The progressive side has failed to speak to men effectively, leading some to seek validation and acceptance from right-wing ideologies.
Creating an alternative to right-wing masculinity involves promoting a positive and inclusive definition of masculinity that does not demonize men.
Motivating men without shame involves allowing them to be themselves and providing spaces for open and honest conversations.
Building male community is essential for men's well-being and can be achieved through regular interactions and shared activities.
Rediscovering unstructured time and engaging in vigorous nerditude can foster creativity, connection, and personal growth.
Intergenerational male relationships are valuable for learning from different perspectives and experiences.
Taking the lead in building male community requires individuals to step up and create spaces for connection and support.
There is a need for a constructive clubhouse or salon-type event for men to gather, share ideas, and build relationships.
Authenticity and unfocused writing can create a genuine and relatable connection with readers.

DetoxPod 156:Ethan Schiff (Integrative Health Coach)

In the name of starting 2024 on a path of personal betterment and delivering positive, powerful messages I am psyched to welcome Ethan Schiff to the show. Ethan is an integrative health coach (find out what that is when you listen), and discusses the importance of connecting emotional and physical health. He shares his personal journey of weight loss and self-discovery, highlighting the need for a holistic and practical approach to health goals. Schiff also addresses the fear-based culture in the music industry and the challenges of setting boundaries. He emphasizes the importance of unlearning conditioning and embracing authenticity. The conversation explores the concept of self-complexity and the ability to contain multitudes. Schiff encourages individuals to become who they truly are and separate their identity from their profession. In this conversation, Mike and Ethan Schiff discuss body image and the journey of self-acceptance. They explore how body image can change throughout weight loss and the challenges that come with it. They also discuss the importance of shifting from a need to change mindset to one of acceptance. The conversation delves into male body dysmorphia and the lack of conversation around it. They emphasize the need to normalize these conversations and create a safe space for discussing body image. Finally, they talk about coping mechanisms and the importance of self-awareness in taking care of oneself and setting boundaries.
Takeaways
Integrative health coaching focuses on connecting emotional and physical health to achieve holistic well-being.
Quick fixes are not sustainable and often stem from feelings of inadequacy.
Setting small, achievable goals and building momentum is key to long-term success.
The music industry's fear-based culture and lack of boundaries can lead to burnout and neglect of personal well-being.
Unlearning conditioning and embracing authenticity are essential for personal growth and self-discovery. Body image can change throughout weight loss and it can be challenging to navigate.
Shifting from a need to change mindset to one of acceptance is important for self-acceptance.
Male body dysmorphia is a common but often invisible challenge that needs more conversation and support.
Normalizing conversations around body image is crucial for creating a safe space for discussion.
Coping mechanisms can temporarily cover up emotions, but self-awareness and addressing the underlying feelings is essential for long-term well-being.
Showing up for oneself involves being intentional about recognizing and articulating one's feelings and needs.
Taking care of oneself and setting boundaries is an act of self-care and should be normalized.

DetoxPod 155: Justin Levenson (Author/Executive)

Justin Levenson, a music industry professional and author, shares his journey of mentorship, service, and maintaining a positive mindset. Growing up in a multicultural household, Justin recognized the impact of music educators and mentors in his life. He emphasizes the importance of balance, service, and self-love in his personal and professional growth. Justin's experience with brain cancer further deepened his commitment to helping others and spreading positivity. He discusses the challenges of building meaningful relationships and the need for open conversations. Justin's mission is to inspire others to make the world a better place and find joy in their own lives. In this conversation, Justin Levenson discusses his career options, the value of therapy, dealing with money issues, gaining perspective through personal experiences, finding support and mentorship, and self-care practices. He also talks about celebrating transformation.
 
Takeaways
Mentorship and service play a crucial role in personal and professional growth.
Balancing work, life, and service is essential for overall well-being.
Self-love and acceptance are key to maintaining a positive mindset.
Open and honest conversations are necessary for building meaningful relationships. Consider exploring different career options and finding what aligns with your strengths and passions.
Therapy can provide valuable insights and an unbiased perspective on personal challenges.
Money issues can be emotionally challenging, but it's important to have a healthy relationship with money and seek support when needed.
Personal experiences, such as illness, can lead to personal growth and a shift in perspective.
Finding support and mentorship can be instrumental in navigating life's challenges.
Self-care practices, such as exercise, mindfulness, and healthy eating, can contribute to overall well-being.
Celebrating personal transformation and milestones can be a meaningful way to reflect on growth and progress.

DetoxPod 154: Mark Marshall (Musician/Educator)

Mark Marshall shares his journey from growing up in a small town in Pennsylvania to becoming a successful musician and composer in New York City. He discusses the challenges of living with disabilities and the impact of a toxic environment on his life. Mark's love for music and his desire to escape his situation led him to pursue a career in music. Moving to New York City provided him with the freedom and opportunities he had always longed for. Despite the negative experiences he has faced, Mark has found strength and support in his wife Abby and continues to move forward in his musical journey. In this conversation, Mark Marshall discusses his journey of self-reflection and personal growth, seeking therapy and support, navigating family dynamics and relationships, balancing multiple roles and responsibilities, and finding relaxation and balance in his life.
Takeaways
Living in a toxic environment can have a profound impact on one's mental and emotional well-being.
Financial wealth does not guarantee happiness; quality of life and personal fulfillment are more important.
New York City offers a sense of freedom and acceptance for individuals who feel like outcasts in their hometowns.
Overcoming adversity requires self-awareness, therapy, and the support of loved ones.
Music can be a powerful outlet for expressing emotions and finding solace in difficult times. Self-reflection and self-awareness are crucial for personal growth and breaking free from negative patterns.
Seeking therapy and support can be transformative and help in overcoming challenges.
Family dynamics can have a significant impact on one's well-being and relationships.
Balancing multiple roles and responsibilities requires adaptability and diversification of skills.
Finding moments of relaxation and balance is essential for mental and emotional well-being.
 

DetoxPod 153: Robert Brooks Cohen (Screenwriter/Author)

Robert Brooks Cohen, is a screenwriter, podcaster (Two Bi Guys), and the author of the new book "Bisexual Married Men: Stories of Relationships, Acceptance and Authenticity". In this episode of Detoxicity, Rob shares his journey of self-discovery and acceptance as a bisexual man. He discusses the challenges faced by bisexual men and the shifting attitudes towards bisexuality in society. Rob emphasizes the importance of building a queer community and the benefits of in-person connections. He also explores the dynamics of mixed-orientation marriages and the exploration of non-monogamy. Rob reflects on imposter syndrome and the integration of his pre-coming out and post-coming out life. He concludes by discussing the role of masculinity in his identity and the importance of authenticity. In this conversation, Rob and Mike discuss various aspects of self-acceptance and personal growth. They explore the importance of acknowledging and accepting one's sexuality, taking baby steps towards self-acceptance, and the continued evolution and self-discovery that comes with embracing one's true self. They also touch on the addictive nature of "Law & Order: SVU" (one of the shows that Rob has written for) and the impact of meeting role models who embody qualities one sees in themselves. Overall, the conversation highlights the significance of modeling behavior and living authentically.
Follow Rob on Instagram.
Takeaways
Building a supportive queer community is crucial for self-acceptance and personal growth.
Challenging societal norms and expectations can lead to a more authentic and fulfilling life.
Open and honest communication is essential in navigating relationships and exploring non-monogamy.
Accepting and embracing one's true identity can help overcome imposter syndrome and promote self-confidence.
Masculinity should be defined by authenticity and being true to oneself, rather than conforming to societal expectations. Acknowledging and accepting one's sexuality is a crucial step towards self-acceptance and personal growth.
Taking baby steps towards self-acceptance is a valid and effective approach.
Self-discovery and personal evolution are ongoing processes.
Meeting role models who embody qualities one sees in themselves can have a profound impact on personal growth and self-acceptance.
Modeling behavior and living authentically is important for oneself and for others.

DetoxPod 152: Nick Gordon (Music Exec/Ethical Hedonist)

Nick Gordon is a veteran music executive and is also the owner and proprietor of Love, Velma, a music and lifestyle venue in Ellenville, NY. Over the course of our conversation, Nick traces his history in the music industry and discusses how he's managed a lot of the potentially damaging habits that come with the rock and roll lifestyle. He also discusses the importance of community (y'all know that's a favorite topic of mine), his continued interest in fashion, and what he likes to call "ethical hedonism". Hope you enjoy Nick's story!

DetoxPod 151: A Discussion About IPV (Intimate Partner Violence) With Micah & Stephanie

Content warning: Graphic discussions about physical and emotional abuse, and suicide.
According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 1 in 3 women is a victim of physical intimate partner violence at some point in their life. Sadly, I don't think that's a surprising statitistic. What you might find surprising is that 1 in 4 men is a victim of physical intimate partner violence. I would imagine that a lot of intimate partner violence among men-particularly in a heteronormative framework-goes unreported because so many men are embarrassed to report it and, in many cases, are socialized to ignore or not recognize the signs of abusive behavior.
 
Back in Episode 141, we talked to Micah R, who shared his journey through everything from homelessness to his life as a transgender man. Unfortunately, shortly after our episode was released, Micah lost his brother Jeffrey to suicide. Now, Micah and his sister Stephanie are sharing their brother's story as someone who was involved in a toxic relationship fraught with emotional and sometimes physical abuse. This is a heavy conversation about heavy topics, but I really hope that folks-no matter their gender or the gender of their partner- listen and if they see themselves in any of the situations we discuss, evaluate their lives and relationships and do what they can to get into a better place.
 
If you are experiencing Domestic Abuse, please call 1-800-799-7233.

DetoxPod 150 : Almar Reyes (Tech Exec, Dad)

I do most of the sourcing when it comes to finding guests for the show, but every once in a while a friend surprises me by saying "hey, I'd like to be a guest". That was the case with my dude Almar Reyes, who I've known for something going on twenty years via the internet. Almar is a Bay-Area based veteran of the tech world, and is most recently adjusting to life as an empty-nester after raising two kids. That forms the basis of our conversation, although we detour plenty along the way. Other topics we cover include everything from being a military brat to the reality of cultural minorities often being severely prejudiced against other cultural minorities. I'm really glad Almar hit me up, because he proved to be a fantastic interview! You can find him on most socials as AlmarSezStuff.