Detoxicity: By Men, About Men, For Everyone

DetoxPod 165 : Kevin Patterson (Author/Educator)

With this appearance, my friend Kevin A. Patterson ties the record for most Detoxicity appearances. This is his fourth time on the pod, and my man drops gems every time. Kevin is the author of "Love's Not Color Blind; Race and Representation in Polyamorous and Other Alternative Relationships", he co-authors the "For Hire" series of graphic novels, and he runs the site Poly Role Models. This typically wide-ranging conversation covers everything from parenting challenges to relationship pointers to how we feel as two guys who grew up with '90s hip hop and lyrical content that's sometimes a little cringe. I hope you have as much fun listening as we did chatting!

DetoxPod 164 : Cameron Mazzeo (Social Worker/Therapist)

In this episode, Cameron Mazzeo, a NJ-based licensed clinical social worker, shares his personal journey and what inspired him to create a private practice that caters to alternative lifestyles and relationships. Cameron and I discuss the importance of expanding his practice to include other communities, such as the kink community and ethically non-monogamous relationships. Cameron emphasizes the value of authenticity and representation in the mental health field and shares stories of individuals (including himself) who have befriended and changed the perspectives of those with opposing views. He also advocates for the inclusion of LGBTQ narratives in education from a young age. This conversation explores the importance of promoting inclusion and diversity, the need for education and exposure to different cultures and ways of life, and the challenges of challenging stereotypes and prejudices. It also discusses the need for diversity in the mental health field and improving access to mental health services. Our conversation also delves into the experiences of navigating gender transition, relearning gender norms and expectations, and the impact of body positivity and body shame. Cameron's got a lot to say (this interview is on the longer side), but in the end there was too much good stuff to edit out. I hope you feel the same way!

DetoxPod 163 : Tony Pacitti (Dad/Husband)

I don't need to throw out content warnings for this show anymore, right? It's pretty well-known that heavy stuff is discussed here. In this particular episode, Tony Pacitti shares his experience of becoming a father, and dealing with his wife's postpartum depression and psychosis all in the shadow of the COVID-19 pandemic's early days. It's a lot for a new father to deal with (understatement of the century) but, Tony managed to find support from his family and friends and eventually reached a point of relative normalcy. Tony highlights the importance of trust and communication in relationships and goes deep on the challenges of parenting twins. He also emphasizes the relative lack of support groups for new dads, the need for more, and what he's doing to keep the conversation going. Tony reflects on his own childhood and what it's like to raise two AMAB children in 2024. There's a lot of ground covered, and I hope that you enjoy our conversation!

DetoxPod 162 : Matt Kovatchis (Podcaster/Coach)

In this episode, I chat with Matt Kovachis, who is a life coach and the host of the podcast "The Men in The Arena". Matt shares his journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance. Matt talks about the pivotal moments that led him to make changes in his life, including ending a long-term relationship. He emphasizes the importance of seeking support and the power of therapy in his transformation. Matt also explains why he started a podcast and how it has allowed him to help others. He highlights the significance of embracing discomfort and personal growth, and shares his decision to pursue coaching as a way to connect with and guide others. We discuss the importance of shedding old friendships that no longer serve us and relying on folks that offer us support. . He offers advice for others who may be at a similar inflection point in their lives and shares his goals for the remainder of 2024 and beyond. Enjoy our conversation!

DetoxPod 161 : Tarik Carroll AKA AMIR (Musician/Visual Artist)

In this episode, Tarik Carroll (AKA AMIR), a Brooklyn-based creative, photographer, musician, and fat liberation activist, shares his journey of self-discovery and healing through art. He discusses the intersection of photography and music in his life and the role of art in his healing process. Tarik also delves into the concept of fat liberation and the challenges of navigating fetishization in media as well as within the queer community. He shares his experiences with identity and sexuality, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and setting boundaries in relationships. We also discuss his goals for the future, finding balance and self-compassion, establishing a morning routine and setting boundaries, and his upcoming music project 'Three of Swords.'

DetoxPod 160 : Ned Donovan (Actor/Creator) Returns!

I'm super psyched to welcome actor and creator Ned Donovan back to the show. Ned first appeared back in Episode 49, recorded at the height of the pandemic, and discussed the loss of his parents, a medical hiccup in his performing career, and growing up in Maine.
 
In this conversation, Ned catches us up on the last three years in his life and shares his journey in acting, production, and his personal life. He discusses his experiences with fertility challenges and the emotional rollercoaster of undergoing surgeries, IVF cycles, and the search for a sperm donor. Despite setbacks and obstacles, Ned remains resilient and determined to start a family. This conversation explores the emotional toll, financial struggles, and societal expectations surrounding fertility treatment. The couple shares their journey of failed IVF and IUIs, miscommunication and mistakes made by the medical industry, and the disparity in support and options for women. They discuss the impact on their relationship and the challenges of balancing personal success with their partner's struggles. The conversation highlights the importance of being present and supportive as a partner, getting tested for fertility issues, and finding humor in the dark moments. It also sheds light on the financial burden of fertility treatment and the ineptitude of the healthcare system. The conversation explores the challenges of salaries in the entertainment industry and the broader issue of capitalism.
Takeaways
Fertility challenges can be emotionally and physically draining, requiring perseverance and support.
The IVF process can be complex and expensive, involving multiple procedures and tests.
Having a supportive partner and a strong support system is crucial during fertility struggles.
Exploring alternative options, such as sperm donation and adoption, can provide hope and new possibilities. Fertility treatment can take a significant emotional toll on both partners, and it is important to be present and supportive throughout the process.
Miscommunication and mistakes made by the medical industry can exacerbate the already challenging journey of fertility treatment.
Societal expectations of manhood and fertility can be deeply ingrained, and it is important to unpack and challenge these beliefs.
Balancing personal success with a partner's struggles can be difficult, but open communication and empathy are key.
Getting tested for fertility issues is important for both partners, as male infertility can also be a factor.
Finding humor in the dark moments can help navigate the emotional challenges of fertility treatment.
The financial burden of fertility treatment can be significant, and access to affordable options is limited. Many people in the entertainment industry struggle to make a living wage, even with multiple jobs.
The current system of capitalism is seen as a nightmare that perpetuates inequality.
There is a need for systemic change to address the issues of salaries and income inequality.

DetoxPod 159 : Josh Antonuccio (Musician/Educator)

Josh Antonuccio is the director of the school of media studies at Ohio University, and as such, encounters hundreds of impressionable young folks annually to help advance them in their media careers. Josh also runs the university's annual Music Industry Summit, an annual event that has brought legends like Run the Jewels and Jason Isbell to the institution to share their knowledge. Josh, himself, is a renowned musician, producer and engineer with his own studio in the Ohio town of Athens.
 
In this conversation, Mike and Josh discuss various topics related to building trust, the importance of face-to-face conversations, the power of collaboration and creativity, encouraging openness and pursuing passions, finding center through breathing and faith, and the flow state and the power of creativity.
Takeaways
Building good relationships requires trust, honesty, and consistency.
Face-to-face conversations are essential for meaningful connections and personal transformation.
Collaboration with passionate and driven individuals can lead to creative breakthroughs.
Encouraging openness and supporting children's passions can lead to personal growth and fulfillment.
Finding center through breathing, meditation, and faith can help navigate challenging situations.
Engaging in creative activities can bring about a flow state and a sense of timelessness.

DetoxPod 158 (Valentine's Day Special!): Kristopher Lovestone (Author/Sex Educator)

In this conversation, Mike and Kristopher discuss various aspects of sexuality, intimacy, and personal growth. They explore alternative options for intimacy and healing, such as working with certified sexual bodyworkers. They also discuss the importance of making sexual wellness more accessible to the average person. The conversation delves into reaching those who haven't started doing the work of personal growth and expanding the narrative of sexuality in aging. They also address the challenges of dealing with erectile dysfunction and body changes, and the impact of diet and lifestyle on sexual health. The conversation concludes with a discussion on creating special spaces for intimacy and taking pride in appearance and self-care.
Takeaways
Consider alternative options for intimacy and healing, such as working with certified sexual bodyworkers or somatic sex educators.
Make sexual wellness more accessible and affordable to the average person, similar to psychology and therapy.
Reach out to those who haven't started doing the work of personal growth and provide resources and support.
Address inner needs beyond physical pleasure to achieve holistic sexual health and integration.
Expand the narrative of sexuality in aging and recognize the value of experience in sexual mastery.
Explore the impact of diet, lifestyle, and exercises on sexual health and address issues like erectile dysfunction.
Consider using toys and tools to enhance sexual experiences and explore new possibilities.
Create special spaces for intimacy and prioritize self-care to enhance sexual relationships.
Navigate the challenges of dealing with the shadow feminine and develop tools for healthy communication and boundaries.
Embrace personal growth as a continuous journey and accept the challenges that come with it.