Detoxicity: By Men, About Men, For Everyone

DetoxPod 177 : Benjamin Wagner II (Filmmaker/Musician/Podcaster)

I'm excited to welcome Benjamin Wagner back to the show! Ben is a musician and filmmaker who, in previous lives, was a high-ranking exec at MTV News as well as at what is now Meta (Facebook, Instagram, etc). Ben recently completed a film called "Friends and Neighbors", in which he charts his own journey through abuse and trauma. We talk a bit about the process of confronting such a personal topic on screen and inviting loved ones to take an active part in the journey. Zooming out from that, we also talk about the life changes Ben has made in recent years, including uprooting himself and his family and transitioning out of corporate America, and what that's done for his mental health. It's a really good conversation (and the movie's good too, I hope you all watch it once a streaming deal has been reached). Feel free to comment and share your thoughts!

DetoxPod 166: Chad Pearson (Music Industry Exec/Dad/Good Dude)

Chad and I go back at least fifteen years. When we met, he was working for a gospel label, but he didn't have the "holier than thou" attitude a lot of Christians have. We became friendly, and I became more intrigued as I got to know his life a little better. He's the son of missionaries, grew up in Papua New Guinea, he's the parent of a Black child. We discuss all of this during our conversation, as well as delving into how the racial uprising of 2020 turned into a major inflection point. We also discuss issues surrounding insecurity, struggles with faith, and...to cover a fairly regular topic, how he's sustained by having (and cultivating!) a community of other men. Enjoy our conversation!

DetoxPod 165 : Kevin Patterson (Author/Educator)

With this appearance, my friend Kevin A. Patterson ties the record for most Detoxicity appearances. This is his fourth time on the pod, and my man drops gems every time. Kevin is the author of "Love's Not Color Blind; Race and Representation in Polyamorous and Other Alternative Relationships", he co-authors the "For Hire" series of graphic novels, and he runs the site Poly Role Models. This typically wide-ranging conversation covers everything from parenting challenges to relationship pointers to how we feel as two guys who grew up with '90s hip hop and lyrical content that's sometimes a little cringe. I hope you have as much fun listening as we did chatting!

DetoxPod 164 : Cameron Mazzeo (Social Worker/Therapist)

In this episode, Cameron Mazzeo, a NJ-based licensed clinical social worker, shares his personal journey and what inspired him to create a private practice that caters to alternative lifestyles and relationships. Cameron and I discuss the importance of expanding his practice to include other communities, such as the kink community and ethically non-monogamous relationships. Cameron emphasizes the value of authenticity and representation in the mental health field and shares stories of individuals (including himself) who have befriended and changed the perspectives of those with opposing views. He also advocates for the inclusion of LGBTQ narratives in education from a young age. This conversation explores the importance of promoting inclusion and diversity, the need for education and exposure to different cultures and ways of life, and the challenges of challenging stereotypes and prejudices. It also discusses the need for diversity in the mental health field and improving access to mental health services. Our conversation also delves into the experiences of navigating gender transition, relearning gender norms and expectations, and the impact of body positivity and body shame. Cameron's got a lot to say (this interview is on the longer side), but in the end there was too much good stuff to edit out. I hope you feel the same way!

DetoxPod 163 : Tony Pacitti (Dad/Husband)

I don't need to throw out content warnings for this show anymore, right? It's pretty well-known that heavy stuff is discussed here. In this particular episode, Tony Pacitti shares his experience of becoming a father, and dealing with his wife's postpartum depression and psychosis all in the shadow of the COVID-19 pandemic's early days. It's a lot for a new father to deal with (understatement of the century) but, Tony managed to find support from his family and friends and eventually reached a point of relative normalcy. Tony highlights the importance of trust and communication in relationships and goes deep on the challenges of parenting twins. He also emphasizes the relative lack of support groups for new dads, the need for more, and what he's doing to keep the conversation going. Tony reflects on his own childhood and what it's like to raise two AMAB children in 2024. There's a lot of ground covered, and I hope that you enjoy our conversation!

DetoxPod 162 : Matt Kovatchis (Podcaster/Coach)

In this episode, I chat with Matt Kovachis, who is a life coach and the host of the podcast "The Men in The Arena". Matt shares his journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance. Matt talks about the pivotal moments that led him to make changes in his life, including ending a long-term relationship. He emphasizes the importance of seeking support and the power of therapy in his transformation. Matt also explains why he started a podcast and how it has allowed him to help others. He highlights the significance of embracing discomfort and personal growth, and shares his decision to pursue coaching as a way to connect with and guide others. We discuss the importance of shedding old friendships that no longer serve us and relying on folks that offer us support. . He offers advice for others who may be at a similar inflection point in their lives and shares his goals for the remainder of 2024 and beyond. Enjoy our conversation!

DetoxPod 161 : Tarik Carroll AKA AMIR (Musician/Visual Artist)

In this episode, Tarik Carroll (AKA AMIR), a Brooklyn-based creative, photographer, musician, and fat liberation activist, shares his journey of self-discovery and healing through art. He discusses the intersection of photography and music in his life and the role of art in his healing process. Tarik also delves into the concept of fat liberation and the challenges of navigating fetishization in media as well as within the queer community. He shares his experiences with identity and sexuality, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and setting boundaries in relationships. We also discuss his goals for the future, finding balance and self-compassion, establishing a morning routine and setting boundaries, and his upcoming music project 'Three of Swords.'

DetoxPod 160 : Ned Donovan (Actor/Creator) Returns!

I'm super psyched to welcome actor and creator Ned Donovan back to the show. Ned first appeared back in Episode 49, recorded at the height of the pandemic, and discussed the loss of his parents, a medical hiccup in his performing career, and growing up in Maine.
 
In this conversation, Ned catches us up on the last three years in his life and shares his journey in acting, production, and his personal life. He discusses his experiences with fertility challenges and the emotional rollercoaster of undergoing surgeries, IVF cycles, and the search for a sperm donor. Despite setbacks and obstacles, Ned remains resilient and determined to start a family. This conversation explores the emotional toll, financial struggles, and societal expectations surrounding fertility treatment. The couple shares their journey of failed IVF and IUIs, miscommunication and mistakes made by the medical industry, and the disparity in support and options for women. They discuss the impact on their relationship and the challenges of balancing personal success with their partner's struggles. The conversation highlights the importance of being present and supportive as a partner, getting tested for fertility issues, and finding humor in the dark moments. It also sheds light on the financial burden of fertility treatment and the ineptitude of the healthcare system. The conversation explores the challenges of salaries in the entertainment industry and the broader issue of capitalism.
Takeaways
Fertility challenges can be emotionally and physically draining, requiring perseverance and support.
The IVF process can be complex and expensive, involving multiple procedures and tests.
Having a supportive partner and a strong support system is crucial during fertility struggles.
Exploring alternative options, such as sperm donation and adoption, can provide hope and new possibilities. Fertility treatment can take a significant emotional toll on both partners, and it is important to be present and supportive throughout the process.
Miscommunication and mistakes made by the medical industry can exacerbate the already challenging journey of fertility treatment.
Societal expectations of manhood and fertility can be deeply ingrained, and it is important to unpack and challenge these beliefs.
Balancing personal success with a partner's struggles can be difficult, but open communication and empathy are key.
Getting tested for fertility issues is important for both partners, as male infertility can also be a factor.
Finding humor in the dark moments can help navigate the emotional challenges of fertility treatment.
The financial burden of fertility treatment can be significant, and access to affordable options is limited. Many people in the entertainment industry struggle to make a living wage, even with multiple jobs.
The current system of capitalism is seen as a nightmare that perpetuates inequality.
There is a need for systemic change to address the issues of salaries and income inequality.